Losing It

For a while I was feeling so inspired to make things, but lately I’ve just been… I don’t even know how to explain it. There has been a lot going on in my life, and if you know anything about me, I stop caring about everything when life gets too hectic. Obviously, I still haven’t been able to move on from my mom’s death. That’s the biggest hurdle right now. In addition to that I’m trying to recover financially after my ex/best friend stole a large sum of money from me, which I’m still paying for. I’ve also been struggling a lot with depression and anxiety. I wasn’t really ready to confront those issues because I didn’t want to talk to a therapist. As my luck would have it, I went through a situation which forced me to go to the hospital, and during that time I had to speak to two women in the psychology department who reported me for being suicidal and unable to cope with life. According to them they feared for my safety. At any rate, I was persuaded to seek help. This month I started attending an  IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) and was put on antidepressants. The program is three times a week for about three hours, and during that time you speak to therapists, doctors, etc. You’re also taught different lessons to help you cope with most things you go through in life. I think the program has been great for me and I’ve honestly learned a lot, but the hardest  part has been group therapy. As someone who’s an introvert, extremely shy, and has social anxiety, it’s been very difficult being forced to speak and interact with different strangers. I’m not gonna lie, as beneficial as the program has been, I’m looking forward to the day they say I can be discharged.  Well, that’s an update on my life. Hopefully the next time I post it will be something art related. And hopefully it won’t be 9 months from now. :)

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply